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<style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";} .style1 { font-family: Calibri; } </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults v:ext="edit" spidmax="1026"/> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout v:ext="edit"> <o:idmap v:ext="edit" data="1"/> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> </head> <body bgcolor=white lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple style='tab-interval:.5in'> <div class=Section1> <p class="style1"><b> <span style="font-size:18.0pt;mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;">Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science Discovered</span></b><span style="mso-fareast-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;"> <br> Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified with certainty the heaviest element known to science.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="style1"> <span style="mso-fareast-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;">The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="style1"> <span style="mso-fareast-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;">These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="style1"> <span style="mso-fareast-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;">Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="style1"> <span style="mso-fareast-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;">Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="style1"> <span style="mso-fareast-font-family:&quot;Times New Roman&quot;" class="style1"> Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become isodopes. <br> This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="style1"> <span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA" class="style1"> When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.</span></p> <p class=MsoNormal style='margin-left:120.0pt;text-indent:-120.0pt;tab-stops: 120.0pt;mso-layout-grid-align:none;text-autospace:none'>&nbsp;</p> <p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"; color:#1F497D'><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></p> </div> </body> </html>